Hello once again from Brazil. We returned to Rio four months ago and have been trying to re-adjust to being back here. In July 30, 2008 I posted a blog about how change is inevitable. Change is going to happen whether or not you want it to or whether or not you like it. Change is what has been happening every since we first arrived here in Brazil in July of 1995. So, I should be used to change.
While we were in the States we got the majority of our information about the upcoming changes within the Mission through emails, SKYPE conversations and sometimes a phone call or two. I am not unlike most people, I don’t much care for change because change means that something different is going to happen and that this something different may be not to my liking.
Well, in the months prior to our leaving to go on Stateside Assignment (previously called “furlough”) we were told that the mission was going to change to a thing called “Affinity Groups”. The people who make these decisions said that our area (which was at that time called “Eastern South America”) was going to be added to all of Latin America, from Mexico on down to the bottom tip of Chili, along with the Caribbean and that the new name would be called the “Americas Affinity”. One more change that we were being told about was that we were, as missionaries, going to have to concentrate on working with UPGs, UUPGs and the even rarer UUUPGs (i.e “Unreached People Groups”, “Unengaged Unreached People Groups” and “Unidentified Unengaged Unreached People Groups”). What that meant, we had no idea!
During our fourteen months in the States we earnestly prayed about what we should do. As we saw it, we had two options, (1) return to Brazil and see if we could find a place of continued service within the newly developed structure; (2) create a resume, resign from the Board and see if God would open doors for other types of service.
Now call me a fanatic, but I looked at option number two this way, IF I were to create a resume, then God would have to be REALLY CLEAR as to where this resume was to be sent and only then would it “go out”. I was explaining my philosophy about this to a friend of ours’ and she said, “so your ‘fleece’ is that if God wants you to leave the mission field, then He would have to tell you first that ‘this specific ministry’ is the one that He wanted you to work at and only then would you send out a resume.” I agreed! I may be an ignorant and naive Believer, but I believe that the God who clearly called my wife and I to the mission field is big enough to clearly call us to another type of ministry. All that being said, I did create a resume, but NO ONE has ever seen it because both my wife Sharon and I did not sense God’s direction to give the resume to anyone or have them send it out. So, on my computer the resume still sits.
Because we did not feel that God wanted us to leave the mission field, we returned to Brazil. Once we were here we were in kind of an, “OK God, now what?” reality. I began back to work to engage church leaders in the possibility of developing the Celebrate Recovery ministry in their churches. This ministry is still working and I have one pastor and maybe another that want the CR training. However, this is not working with UPGs, UUPGS or UUUPGs . . .
That is where we I must end for now. At the end of every cartoon show, “The Big World of Little Adam”, Wilber used to tell his little brother Adam, “That, Little Adam, is another story!”
Let’s see if I’ve got this right, the American borders are being flooded every year with illegal immigrants.That is, people, who for whatever reason, feel that the United States has a better living situation than where they were previously living.This is nothing new, but it has become more frequent and more dangerous for those living in the border states of California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.
For years politicians have either called for tougher restrictions for people entering this country or others have called for more lenient measures, yet nothing really gets done.I think that there have been poor attempts at best by both political parties to realistically secure the borders.They argue to put up a fence or don’t put up a fence, have more people or technology guarding the border, or have little to no restrictions to guard our borders, they argue about making tougher legislation for those entering here illegally or to open the borders completely.Nothing the federal government has done has worked and most is either too little too late or just empty words to get re-elected into their perspective offices.The reality is that the illegal immigrants crossing our borders are not a priority to most politicians.
Lately there has been a lot of news hype over the Arizona Immigration Law SB1070.Politicians and most of the liberal news media have been saying that this law is unconstitutional and that it will lead to “racial profiling”.That is interesting, since the governor of Arizona has never, nor have ANY of the current law enforcement officers of Arizona (white, brown, black, or green) have ever said that this law is anything even close to being a racial profiling law.In fact, they have been saying for weeks now that this new law which is to go into effect in August 2010 is to help establish a legal guideline for controlling their border.
Our President openly provokes fear within the American people and creates an image that Arizona is entering into something of a Gestapo State.He uses the illustration where a man takes his children out to get ice cream and all of a sudden the police rush in demanding to see their papers on their legal status for being in Arizona.REALLY?Is this really, Mr. President the type of message that you want to convey?Or, are you just like your Attorney General appointee, Eric Holder, and you’re just making paranoid assumptions about a law that you have NEVER READ?
Eric Holder is the current United States Attorney General.He has made at least three public addresses condemning the new Arizona Immigration Law SB1070 and just last week on C-Span admits that he has NEVER PERSONALLY READ the Arizona bill!*
According to Dictionary.com, the function of the Attorney General of the United States job is to be “ . . . the chief law enforcement officer of the United States government.”Shouldn’t the “chief law enforcement officer” know that law BEFORE he makes comments about whether or not a law is legal?Should he not be concerned that his opinion about this bill actually provoke “racial profiling”?Should he not first read the bill before opening his or her mouth and expressing an opinion based on ignorance?I would think that someone with so much power and influence would be more honest and less biased!Then again, I thought that biases were not supposed to have any affect on law, that “law” was blind?
It’s also interesting to me that news media and others have been talking about this Arizona bill as if it is already illegal.They are making comments about this bill, that it is unconstitutional.But wait a second, aren’t the people who come across the border without proper visas the ones that are here illegally?Thus the term, “Illegal Alien”.Once again, quoting Dictionary.com, “Illegal” means 1. “forbidden by law or statute.”; 2. “contrary to or forbidden by official rules, regulations, etc.”Aren’t the people coming across the border already breaking the law by coming here ILLEGALLY?
Maybe this is when some synonyms** are needed to help better explain exactly what “Illegally” means?Here’s a decent list:
As most of you know, we’ve been living in Brazil for the past 15 years.We didn’t just show up in the São Paulo airport one day, telling the Federal Police that we had just arrived and that they therefore had to let us into their country. In Brazil you have to have a visa to enter their country.We had to be registered, finger printed and photographed to enter.We have to inform the Federal Police any time we move, informing them of our current address.We have to keep up our visas in order to stay in that country.
Mexico has even stronger restrictions than either the United States of Brazil.One blogger has said “Under the Mexican law, illegal immigration is a felony, punishable by up to two years in prison. Immigrants who are deported and attempt to re-enter can be imprisoned for 10 years. Visa violators can be sentenced to six-year terms and Mexicans who help illegal immigrants are considered criminals." ***
I recently read a quote that I’d like to share:
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American.... There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language… and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." - Theodore Roosevelt
My point, once again is a simple one.Politicians, cut out the hypocrisy and get honest with the people!Read the Arizona bill BEFORE you open your mouth and express your uninformed paranoia of opinion as a fact.All you do is to make yourselves into a bunch of manipulating liars!
Forward: The following is a fictional story.It was conceived out of real life events, but the cast of characters are totally made up.It was written with the desire to express feelings, but not with the desire to hurt or harm anyone.If anyone reading this thinks that it is about you and you take offense, then I own that fault and am truly sorry.That being said, I hope that you enjoy my meager attempt at telling a short story.
It’s the Beans!
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a man who had a small family.The family had originally moved far away from their home land and were a happy family.One of their main objectives for living so far away from their homeland was because of their love for helping others and helping these other to become happy.The family was not rich financially, but was blessed to have most of their needs met.The family was pleased to live where they did, even though it was far, far away from their original home.
They knew that there was hurt in the world. They knew that there was suffering and evil all around the neighborhood where they lived, yet they were content with living there.The family tried to ease the pain and suffering in the lives of those they came in contact with by doing their part to combat the evil around them.
It was said about the city where they lived that experiencing evil was just a part of the reality of being there.They said that is was not a matter of whether or not people living in the city would get hurt, but a matter of when someone would get hurt.In spite of this, the parents were in hopes that this evil would never rear its ugly head while in front of them or their children.This, however, was not to be and evil did in fact rear its ugly head.
One evening, after the parents had returned home from trying to do their part to pull back the darkness of their part of the world something evil happened.That evening, they were exposed to an aspect of evil that they had never before experienced, nor did they ever want to experience.Evil was brought onto them, not by their choice, but by their circumstance.
That particular evening, the mom and dad were confronted directly by evil, and their innocence was forever taken away.That event was very traumatic.That event was very scary.That event was emotionally painful for the both of them.The husband watched in horror as two bad men kept the him several feet away another bad man ooggeled and oggeled over his wife.The wife watched in horror as her husband was pushed, prodded and forced to give up their possessions.While, after all, things are just that, things, and things can be replaced; a part of this couples’ peace and serenity were pilfered by these bad men.
After this evil event, the couple thought that as tragic as this event was, they reasoned that should be able to walk through their pain and learn to go on with life.After all, having already gone through this experience, they reasoned that they had “been there and done that!”They were naïve to think that the odds should now in their favor.They thought that surely something so evil wouldn’t happen twice?After all, they reasoned, lightening never strikes twice in the same place, right?So much for their reasoning, because this too was not the way that it was to be.
Seven weeks after their loss of innocence, the family and some friends from the “old country” were on a pleasurable evening together.It was a night of good eating, fun and laughter.As the family returned to their mode of transportation, the father of the house was confronted by another evil person.Unlike the time before when evil came in a cluster, this evil was in the form of a much younger, solitary man of evil.The father did what he could to protect his family and his friends.He put himself in harm’s way, allowing his money to be taken.He felt somewhat relieved that no one else was forced into departing with their possessions.This time it was not just the mom and dad who had to lost their innocence, it was their family and their friends.
Also, in this land that was far, far away there lived a boss-man.He was a compassionate man who was as sincere as sincerity gets.He told the man and woman, “if you no longer feel comfortable with where you live, let me know and I will do all that I can to relocate you to a safer area.”The family felt comforted in these words and they gave it their best shot to stay where they were where the trauma had first occurred.They tried and tried to “feel comfortable” in the area where they had once felt safety and peace, in the place where they had lived, before their experience of original evil.
After several months had passed, a suggestion was made by one of the “official”, yet minimal in power, “beanary-men”*.This beanary-man had more “power” and “say so” than the couple.The couple reckoned that this suggestion must have been directed from the “higher-ups”.You know, that special place where edicts are announced and the heavens move because of them.The man and his wife assumed that this suggestion was presented because, after all, they had tried and tried to “feel comfortable” in their area, but in spite of their serious attempt at feeling comfortable, it just wasn’t happening.The suggestion was made that the family needed to consider a move across the Great Divide, to the land of the “Gated Communities”.After all, it was reasoned that living across the Great Divide would be closer to where the children were going to school and to where new works were being considered.
The man and wife were given very strict guidelines on what were to be the conditions if a possible move across the Great Divide was to happen.There were told that there were strict size restrictions to consider.There were told that there were strict accommodation restrictions to consider.There were told that there were strict location restrictions to consider.And of course, there were told that there were bean restrictions to consider.
The man and his wife went searching high and low, far and wide as to what, when, where and how a possible move across the Great Divide might occur.The couple kept constant and vigilant correspondence with the “Powers that Be” to be sure that they were staying within the various considered strict restrictions.They were told that “staying on track” was a must and staying on track is what they did.Heeding the guidelines was essential, so guidelines of course were heeded.Rarely did a week go by that a noted update, via the satellites, with an up-to-the-minute appraisal of progress occurred.The children too were involved in this great adventure.The kids were all excited that maybe, some day, they too would live closer to their school and friends, many of whom already lived across the Great Divide.The family prayed and prayed and prayed some more!They felt good and positive in the fact that there was hope for a new tomorrow!
It was during this ordeal, the Higher Ups questioned the man “if” in the danger zone where he currently lived, or “if” a possible move across the Great Divide, would impact his strategy regarding reaching those who were still being held in darkness?His response was an honest one; “helping people to learn to become happy is not determined by where someone lives.”In the man’s ignorance, what he failed to recognize was that the strategy being used to help push back the darkness, verses the need for his family to feel safe and secure are not the same thing.
Finally, after many prospective locations were sifted through, after one location was discarded from another, and being sure to stay within the strict guidelines of the whos, whats, whens, wheres and hows, a final decision was presented.The mom and dad sent off to the “official”, yet minimal in power, beanary-man the final three best choices.They even included digitalized pictures and a list of pluses and minuses of each location.The final “Say So” was left into the hands of the “Grand PooPah of the Beanary-men” and his minions.
The family waited as patient as anyone could.Weeks went by awaiting the Great Decision.At last, the night before the announcement of the Great Decision, the man received a phone call.The family was informed that there was a 99.9% surety that a move across the Great Divide was just around the corner.The family was told not to start to packing their bags quite yet, but that a “Say So” from those who have the power to “Say So” would give their “Say So” the very next day and that everything was smelling of roses!
Finally, after much research, prayer, constant contact, with open lines of communication for purpose of clarity, making sure that the family had followed the strict guidelines and that everything that had been asked for had been heeded, then with even more prayer, finally a decision was made!The family was told that the Grand PooPah had reviewed all of the precious research, the final three best choices including the digitalized pictures that included the list of pluses and minuses of each location had been reviewed.The family had been told that the Grand PooPah had released his verdict and the verdict was . . .
. . . “Have some estimates made of your current house and do some remodeling to make it safer.”
The family was once again in shock.The family had obviously been stuck in some kind of a time-warp continuum, a vortex of some sort must have been crossed. Maybe the whole bunches and bunches of weeks, the searching after the many prospects of locations, the sifting through of one location after another, the discarding of one property for another, and finally coming to a decision of the final three best choices that included digital pictures and a list of pluses and minuses, the family reasoned that maybe, just maybe, it was all just a bad dream.The man remembered that old TV show “Dallas”, how after Bobby Ewing had been killed, and after a whole season of events went by, it was discovered that it was all just a bad dream.The audience of “Dallas” was left with the story that Bobby had never really been killed; that it never really happened, it was all just a bad dream.Obviously, the man and his family had misunderstood the strict directions and guidelines, the purpose to move across the Great Divide.Obviously, it must have been the family who originally came up with the decision to make this move.It must have been the family’s pushing, prodding, cajoling and forcing of this matter, that caused the Powers at Be to even consider to go along with such a ridicules and radical pursual to move across the Great Divide.After all, the family must have been expecting Pie in the Sky.A new innocence had been taken away.The dad began to think that that although it may be true Virginia that “yes, there really is a Santa Clause”, safety, security issues and the desire to protect one’s family are not all that they’re cracked up to be!
So, with great confusion and an extreme emotional let down, the family did obey the edict as it was handed down from the Great PooPah of the Beanary-men.Estimates for staying in the danger zone and the remodeling their current environment were taken.Moneys were appropriated.Dirt was removed and an electric gate was installed, one with even a remote control!!In all seriousness, the family was truly grateful for the changes that were made.The family did feel somewhat safer, even though they remained in the danger zone.
The family learned from their experiences.But their recovery from their pain was not aided or diminished because of the Grand PooPah of the Beanary-men or his minions.Their emotional recovery did not come from empty words that were full of false hope.They survived the ordeal through the love, patience and compassion of those whom they came to help become happy.For you see, the family learned that it’s not all about the beans, it’s about those for whom we came to serve.
_____
* Beanary-man – a person who’s job it is to count beans.Beanary-men come in all sizes of importance; there are big ones and little ones; ones of great importance and others with minimal importance.Some times beanary-men of little importance and “Say So” like to feel like that have more importance than they actually have.The bottom line to a Beanary-man is always the beans!
We’ve been back in the States for 10 months now.I’ve been watching the television news stations, listening to the politicians, political commentaries and others trying to get a handle of what is really going on here.You have to remember that for the majority of the past 15 years, our family has been living in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.So, every time that we come back to the U.S., I go through a learning curve trying to rediscover and understand the place where I grew up.
I’m concerned about something that I don’t know how to express exactly.It seems, in general, that people now days, when they don’t agree, especially politically, accuse the other person of “playing the race card.”It seems that if you have one opinion and I have another and we can’t agree to disagree, then obviously one of us has to be a racist.I’ve seen some of these guys on TV blasting the “right” and frothing at the mouth because “they [the right] did this”, or “they did that”.It’s interesting to me, I never hear people from the “right” accusing the “left” of racism, because they didn’t agree on something!They just say that they disagree [OK, OK, some of these too froth at the mouth when talking about the “left”]!Since when did not agreeing have to do with the pigment of your skin?Just like I never understood the whole “You a Yankee?” thing while I was living in the South during my days of seminary.So too, I don’t get this whole race card thing.In fact, some of the guys screaming “racism” seem to me to be more “racist” than the one’s that they’re accusing.
I don’t agree with everything that our current president is doing.But then, I didn’t agree with everything that our previous president did either.Does that make me a racist?I mean, isn’t ex-president Bush a less pigmented person, than say, our current president?Both have been right and wrong on leading our country into the future.So, if someone disagrees with a current or ex-president, then automatically that person is a racist?Right?
I don’t like being called an “Anglo” or a “Caucasian” (or worse) because my tan is not as rich or deep as others.I’m not a guy who blames America’s problems on one political party or another.I don’t blame one race or another for the problems of our society.I understand that our history has been tainted because of bad decisions and poor judgments of some (not all) of our country’s Founding Fathers.But honestly, show me ONE country that has not made poor decisions where the masses were not affected, either for the good or for the bad.It just doesn’t work that way!It’s easy for us in the 21st Century to blame our nations’ original leaders when (1) we didn’t live there in that culture at the time and (2) it is impossible to put the current world view of today onto the world view of 200+ years ago.That argument is as silly as saying that if you were in the crowd when Jesus was along side of Pilate, that you wouldn’t be yelling, “crucify Him, crucify Him!”Baloney, you would too! This “Monday Morning Quarterbacking” of the Founding Fathers needs to stop!
Our country was founded by fallen, non-perfect men who, in their time period, did the best they could with what they had.In fact, most of them lost their fortunes trying to get this new experiment of a nation started.They were very aware of their imperfections and asked God to guide them in the attempt to make a new model for the nations of the world.Their idea of this experiment was to be a republic* based in a democracy** and it was a totally new idea.No one previous form of government, not even the Romans, had this same idea.
I’ve lived overseas for 15 years.I know what it’s like to be hated just because I am an American.I am an American by birth.If someone has a problem with that fact, then I suggest that they take it up with God, because only He has the “say so” to make that decision.
My point is this; it’s time for ALL OF US TO GROW UP!If you grew up in a racially prejudice family, then it’s time to let that go.It’s not what Christ would do and not what He wants of you or your attitudes.It’s time to let go of past mistakes and move on (that applies to ALL of the melting pot of the various races that we have in the U.S. of A. and not just a selected few).It’s time to start opening up our ears to the ones beside us and the ones across the isle, to learn to accept the fact that it’s OK to agree to disagree without accusing the other person as being a racist.
If you’re going to play any cards, why not open up a deck and play some Rummy?
__________
*Republic – “a state in which the supreme power rests in the body of citizens entitled to vote and is exercised by representatives chosen directly or indirectly by them.”
**Democracy – “government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system.”
Many, many moons ago God “called” Sharon and I to “pursue missions.” After much prayer, doing the “easy thing” (the sending out of my résumé to the various Southern Baptist state conventions – which, by the way, got us no where), and then, with the urging of Henry Balckaby, we contacted the Foreign Mission Board.
Contacting the Board in 1994 set in motion the process of getting us to Brazil. We were actually appointed as missionaries on Valentine’s Day of 1995 and arrived on Brazil’s soil on July 17th the same year.
Getting to the mission field is in no way an easy task. The Board, just to be appointed, requires lots of forms, books to read, personal histories to write, etc. In order to pursue a Religious Visa in Brazil, there were many obstacles that had to be overcome as well. It is a process that I call “jumping through the hoops.”
Now, many of you have had to do this for one thing or another. Many of you have had to present “the blue form” only to find that “the green one” still has to be completed, in triplicate, signed, dated and notarized, before you can acquire permission to get a license, build a building, remodel the house, or whatever.
When we first came through the process to be appointed as missionaries, we had to jump through many different types, sizes and colors of hoops. There were days when it seemed like the response from the Mission Board, the Brazilian Consulate or whomever, was telling us, “Oh, I see that you currently have a green hoop. What we need from you today is the red one! And, uh, by the way, . . . the red also has to be 2 inches smaller.”
When missionaries return to the States, they are always asked to reevaluate their calling. It us suggested that they seek God’s face to be clear that this is still what He wants them to continue doing. We’ve known of colleagues who have returned to Brazil after being gone for furlough, or Stateside Assignment, only to discover that upon their return it was not what they were supposed to be doing. I can’t answer for them. I can’t say for sure that (1) they didn’t really seek God’s face, or (2) they misinterpreted what God wanted them to do, or (3) that they returned to Brazil only to be disenchanted with the way things were upon their return, verses when they left.
God is God! He doesn’t make bad decisions or give poor guidance. But, sometimes we don’t always seem to hear Him clear enough when we think that we need to. It’s not that God’s not clear, we just either don’t hear Him real well, or we misinterpret what it was that He was trying to tell us. By the way, EVERY ONE of those colleagues who returned to Brazil, only to realize that that was not where they were supposed to be, are now doing great things in the States and know that they are exactly where God wants them to be. It was a tough process for them, but one that they know that God was ultimately honored through what they are doing now.
We are currently seeking God’s face to see if serving Him as missionaries to Brazil is where He still wants us to serve. We still want to be sure that we are still in the middle of His will for us in our lives. I’ve told Sharon that being in the center of His will for us could mean; (1) returning to Brazil as a missionary, or (2) staying in the States doing some other form of ministry, or maybe even (3) continuing as a missionary, but to a third country and learning a third language and culture. I am willing to go or stay wherever He wants us to.
Also, as a part of this hoop jumping, we must do all that is asked from us to be able to get medically approved to return to Brazil. This is not always easy. This also means jumping through new hoops of various sizes and colors. To be honest, some of the hoops I don’t understand why or what the reasoning is behind the “suggested exam”. Some of the blood work, some of the exams, some of the specialized tasks that we’re being asked to do, I don’t get it! However, by doing this, it was discovered that I am a carrier of Tuberculosis. This doesn’t mean that if you and I were in a room together that I’d have to wear a mask or that you could catch it from me by breathing the same air. What it does mean is that currently I have latent Tuberculosis. After three different exams, one of them I have to do twice, they discovered that my lungs are clear. I have to take 9 months of antibiotics or if I got sick with something else, then I am at higher risk of coming down with active TB. So, now 6 months into the antibiotics, I am 2/3 of the way to having no TB. Was this a hoop worth jumping through? Absolutely!!
So, I guess, when the medical department of the Mission says, “Jeff, need you to . . .”, or “we want Sharon to . . . “ etc., then I’ll have to respond, “OK, what color and size of hoop for today?” God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the power to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference!
It’s been three months since you passed away.It’s hard to believe that you’re actually gone.We knew when we came back from Brazil this time that there could be the possibility of loosing you while we were here.There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you.I always thought that daddies lived forever.I know that this is not realistic, but I was hopeful.I’m glad that you didn’t suffer too much and were ready to “go home” when the time came.
Being your son had its ups and downs.Being the youngest of five children may have made it even more up or down, I don’t know.When I was younger, you were a hard man to be around and a harder father to get to know.As a kid, I starved for you to show that you loved me and when I first heard you say those three words, I didn’t believe you.As we got older we were both able to honestly say that we loved each other.I am glad that towards the end of your life saying “I love you” was no longer a struggle for you.
No father is perfect, you weren’t and I am not.However, I learned a lot from you.Some of what I learned from you I would never want to repeat as a parent, but there are many more things that I was glad that you taught me.You taught to take a risk in people, even if you get burned.You taught me that no matter the color of one’s skin, a person is a person to be valued by their actions and not their color.You taught me the importance of a man’s word was the same as his bond, to always tell the truth, even if there were going to be negative consequences.You taught me to appreciate nature, the environment, national parks and even rocks!You taught me to never meet a stranger and how when someone asks me what time is it, it’s OK to tell them how to build a clock.
You taught me some things inadvertently and these things became more a part of you as you became the “older, softer father.”I learned that it is important to not only show love to your children but to daily let them know that they are loved and appreciated.You taught me that it is more important to give a hug to everyone, instead of just a giving a handshake.
When I was a child, I always called you “dad” or “father”.When I became an adult I intentionally called you “daddy”.I don’t regret placing you into the role of an intimate daddy, instead of a formal father.As you got older, you became the daddy that I knew was there all the time, more patient, more loving.
I will and do miss you daddy.You are and forever will be a part of me.I see more and more of you in me every day and I get tickled because of this.I am proud to call you my daddy!
Goodbye for now, but I’ll be seeing you again some day.Hey, how about you be the one to show me around in my new heavenly home and introduce me face to face to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
See you soon (well, hopefully not too soon).
Your loving son,
Jeff
My daddy never completely recovered from the second colon cancer surgery of May, 2009.He was in and out of home, hospital and the extended care facility.He finally died in the ER of one of the Grand Junction, Colorado hospitals.He went on to be before His Lord on Saturday, January 23, 2010.
It was around 30 years ago when I first met the ‘Ole Fart.He was the man who was later to become my father-in-law.I was a young 21 year old whipper-snapper who was dating his 17 year old daughter.I think now that when I began dating his daughter that he tolerated me more than I realized.He was an Oklahoma red neck and I was a reformed hippy.It made for a great combination!
Junior F. Jay was better known by his friends simply as “Jay.”Jay didn’t put up with any stuff from anybody.He had taught himself most of what he knew and knew more about how things worked than most engineers. He was a gruff, self-made man who had little education but lots and lots of practical wisdom.He had an opinion about everything, some of it good and practical and some of it not.
He came off as a rough and tough man, and he was.In the past he had always been able to intimidate the boys who were trying to court his daughter.He met his match when he met me!He enjoyed calling me “dummy” and I enjoyed calling him ‘Ole Fart.He took this prodding well and could dish it out with the best of them.
He enjoyed camping and fishing and taught me how to enjoy them as well.He loved to tell the story of when we were out on his boat troll-fishing and how I caught my first (and only) 6 ½ pound bass!He laughed and laughed, remembering how I swore that I had a blue marlin on the line and how he had to keep telling me to “keep your pole up, keep your pole up!”Those were good memories!
Back in those days, the ‘Ole Fart claimed to be an atheist.He didn’t allow anything to be said in his house if it had anything to do about Jesus.
When I asked for Sharon’s hand in marriage, Jay said, “It doesn’t matter what I say, you’re going to do whatever you want anyway.”I disagreed with him and told him that if his answer was “no”, then the answer would remain “no” until he changed it to “yes”.I think that he was surprised by my response.I also think that maybe this was his initial response because that was the way that he would have reacted if anyone were to tell him “no”.Jay then said, “well, you can have my daughter’s hand in marriage, but don’t you dare take her out of this country!”In spite of Jay claiming to be an atheist, I think that he still knew at that time that his daughter was being called by God to serve Him and that maybe this might even mean serving God overseas.
Sharon and I did our best to try to display a Christ-like attitude whenever he was around.Over the years he would allow us to pray over the Thanksgiving or Christmas meal, but that was as far as “religion” was allowed to be openly displayed.Also, over the years, he began to soften a little bit and say that he was an agnostic.Both Sharon and I saw this as a positive direction and continued to pray for him, hoping that he would come around to knowing Jesus as Savior and Lord.
When the time came to tell Sharon’s parents that we felt like God was calling us to the mission field, I told Jay that I understood that he didn’t want to have his daughter and only grand-children going overseas, but that we had to obey God rather than Jay.I think that he understood, although he never gave his permission.We found out later that he bragged to all of his friends about his “preacher boy” son-in-law and later about his missionary daughter and son-in-law.
The day that Sharon and I were commissioned as missionaries was the same day that Sharon’s mother Dorothy was diagnosed with cancer and not long afterwards, Jay was diagnosed with emphysema.Years later after Dorothy’s death, I was able to talk to Jay about God’s grace.I told him that it was God’s grace that allowed the cancer to not advance until we had earned enough furlough time to be able to return to the States and it was His grace that allowed us to be with them the last 6 months of her life.I explained to Jay that God did not owe this time to Jay or to Dorothy, but that God’s grace had allowed this to happen.Jay said that he understood this to be true.Later, he began talking more and more about the “Man Upstairs”, this time speaking about God in much kinder words than we’d ever heard before.
Towards the end our second furlough but before we had returned to Brazil, Jay’s emphysema really began to grow.During our last five-year stay in Brazil, Jay’s condition continued to get worse.We sent Sharon home a couple of times to be with her daddy and we, as a family, were able to be with him during the Christmas break of 2007.During this Christmas break in the States, Jay was in the hospital 11 of the 21 days that we were there.It was during this hospitalization that a night nurse told Grandma Fay (Jay’s second wife after he lost Sharon’s mom, Dorothy) that during the night, Jay had prayed to receive Christ into his heart.
When we returned to the States for this time for Stateside Assignment, we knew that we would most likely see the results of the emphysema take him home.It was a hard and difficult six months for everyone.Watching his struggle for each and every breathe was hard for us, much harder for him.
On January 18, 2010, Junior Fredrick Jay, aka ‘Ole Fart, went to be with the Lord.He lived a hard life.So much of his life seemed stubborn and self-willed, yet at the end it was somewhat softer.I loved my father-in-law.He was a good father who loved deeply his two daughters and was a good grandpa for his four grand-children.I’ve always said that I had the best in-laws that anyone could ask for (Dorothy, Jay the ‘Ole Fart and now with “Grandma” Fay).
‘Ole Fart, I love you and you will be dearly missed.
Jeff and Sharon Renard are International Mission Board missionaries serving in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil since July 1995. They recently celebrated 27 years of marriage and have four children (Wesley, Naaman, Willa-Ann and Priscila)
